Susan JessicaThere are some experiences in life that just leave you feeling utterly helpless—things that make you question your very existence. You’d probably think of stuff like natural disasters or war, but for me? It was the Skaven. Yeah, those rat-men from the Warhammer universe. What began as a harmless curiosity about controlling them quickly spiraled into a rat-infested disaster. This is the tale of how I tried (and failed) to keep the Skaven in check—only to be buried under a mountain of fur, teeth, and treachery.
The Draw of Skaven
It all started innocently enough. I was intrigued by the Skaven lore. They’ve always been one of the coolest factions in Warhammer Fantasy—these sneaky, backstabbing rat-men with their tangled tunnels and endless ambition. I kept wondering: What if I could control them? What if I could wield their dark power for my own gain? My thinking was pretty optimistic, at least at first.
As I dug deeper into their twisted society, I realized they’re essentially a mirror for humanity’s worst traits—greed, treachery, and a lust for power. It’s all about climbing over others, no matter the cost. I figured if I could understand how their hierarchy works, I could, you know, outwit them. Like a chess match, but with more teeth.
The First Steps in Control… Or So I Thought
My first move? Tackle their leadership structure. I studied how the Great Warlock Engineer and the Warlock-Masters ran the show. In my mind, a little discipline and strategy could go a long way. For a while, it worked. I thought I had this figured out. But man, was I wrong. Turns out, control over the Skaven isn’t even a thing—it’s more of a… mirage.
I should’ve known better. These creatures thrive in chaos. Backstabbing is their cardio. Every time I thought I had their loyalty, one of them would pull a fast one and betray me. It’s like trying to herd cats, but the cats have machine guns. And, uh, an agenda.
Key Lessons from Skaven Leadership (Learned the Hard Way):
- Deceptive Loyalty: Skaven aren’t loyal to anyone, not even themselves. Everyone’s got an angle.
- Mutiny & Backstabbing: Betrayal is like a hobby for these guys.
- Chaos is Their Comfort Zone: Order? Yeah, right. That’s a fast track to disaster.
The Skaven Are More Than Just Rodents… They’re an Army
Here’s where it started to go south for me. I was foolish enough to think I could control just a small Skaven force and build from there. “A couple units of Clanrats, some Warplock Jezzails, and a Doomwheel for fun”—I thought. Yeah. Big mistake. I didn’t account for their freaky breeding habits. These things reproduce faster than rabbits on a Red Bull binge.
At first, it was manageable. I had a small army, and it felt like I was in control. But the numbers kept growing. And growing. Before I knew it, I was swimming in rats. Literal rats. Not figuratively. I was drowning in them, like trying to hold back a flood with a teaspoon.
The Overrun Begins
As their numbers grew, so did their audacity. My carefully laid plans started to fall apart. They weren’t just big in numbers—they were sneaky, clever, and ruthless. Every time I tried to tighten my grip, they’d pull a fast one. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. The Skaven are basically professional backstabbers. I should’ve taken notes from their playbook.
One morning, I woke up to find that one of my most trusted Skaven units had mutinied and taken over an outpost. I tried to quell the rebellion, but I was met with even more sabotage and backstabbing. Slowly but surely, my entire structure fell apart. My “empire” crumbled like a sandcastle in the tide. The Skaven were swarming, and I was out of ideas.
Key Takeaways from My Overrun:
- Endless Numbers: They reproduce at a horrifying rate. There’s never enough time to catch up.
- Subterfuge & Sabotage: Skaven are experts in covert operations. You can’t even trust the rats on the front lines.
- Betrayal is Always Around the Corner: The moment you think you’ve got loyal followers, one of them’s plotting your downfall.
The Rise of the Skaven Horde
The Skaven didn’t just beat me—they ran me over. My best-laid plans were demolished by their overwhelming numbers and chaos. Their Warplock Jezzails? Destructive. The Warp Lightning Cannons? Pure devastation. And don’t even get me started on the Hell Pit Abominations. I tried fighting back, of course—made a few desperate counterattacks—but there was no point. They were everywhere, and I couldn’t keep up.
Their tunnels? A labyrinth. Their weapons? Too much for me to handle. No matter how many times I rallied my forces, the Skaven’s unstoppable tide just kept coming. I had made the mistake of thinking I could control them. But these rats? They don’t just fight—they adapt.
What I Learned (Or Wish I Had Known) About Skaven:
- Never Underestimate Their Numbers: Once they start breeding, it’s game over. You can’t keep up.
- Trust No One: Everyone’s out for themselves. Betrayal is an art form with these guys.
- Their Leadership is All Over the Place: Skaven leaders are constantly shifting alliances. Keep an eye on that or risk being dethroned.
- Use Their Own Chaos: If you can, turn their backstabbing ways to your advantage. But good luck with that.
Final Thoughts: The Reckoning with Skaven
So, here’s the kicker: trying to control the Skaven was a huge mistake. These creatures thrive on chaos, and there’s no way to tame them. Despite all my strategies and plans, I ended up outnumbered, outsmarted, and utterly defeated. Their instinct to betray, reproduce, and rise up was too much for me. If you’re even thinking about trying to control them, don’t. Seriously. Just don’t.
I’ve learned my lesson the hard way—if you ever cross paths with the Skaven, don’t bother trying to rein them in. Instead, brace yourself for the chaos they’ll bring. And remember: in the world of Skaven, control is a lie. It’s like trying to wrangle smoke with your bare hands. So, yeah… good luck with that.
I might’ve been overwhelmed, but at least I can say this: if I can survive being overrun by rats, anything else is a walk in the park.
