Susan JessicaIntro
Okay, so here’s the deal: Kit Fisto. Jedi Master. A literal green sea monster with tentacles. I looked at him and thought, “Yeah, that’s the life I want.” The calm demeanor. The fighting prowess. The all-around Jedi awesomeness. So, I thought I’d give it a shot. How hard could it be to channel the Force, right? Spoiler: It was harder than my high school attempts at being good at algebra.
Anyway, fast forward a few weeks of trying to become the literal embodiment of Kit Fisto—lightsaber and all—and let’s just say… I got seriously defeated. But don’t worry. I’m here to share the whole “attempt-to-be-Kit-Fisto-but-failed” saga with y’all. Buckle up, because this is going to be an absolute ride.
Why Kit Fisto?
Alright, let’s take a minute to talk about what makes Kit Fisto such a legend in the Star Wars universe. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be him? He’s got everything going for him: the looks, the calm vibes, the lightsaber skills, and oh yeah, he’s a Jedi Master.
Kit Fisto’s Vibes
So, Kit Fisto is a Nautolan—a race of amphibious beings. Translation: He can probably kick your butt underwater and still look cool doing it. His green skin? Iconic. Tentacles for hair? Even more iconic. But it’s not just his looks that make him a Jedi idol.
- Lightsaber Mastery: Kit Fisto wasn’t just waving around a glowing stick like some wannabe. He mastered the Shii-Cho and Soresu forms of lightsaber combat. He had grace. He had style. I, on the other hand, looked like a kid flailing around with a glow-in-the-dark noodle.
- Always Calm: This guy’s inner peace was so strong, even Yoda was like, “Respect.” Kit Fisto could stay calm during a galaxy-wide war, which—let me tell you—sounds wicked hard.
I wanted all of it. The Jedi tranquility. The mad lightsaber skills. Heck, I even considered getting tentacle extensions for a bit. (I didn’t. But I thought about it.)
The First Step: Meditation and Focus (AKA “I’m a Disaster”)
So, in my quest to be the next Kit Fisto, the first thing I tried was meditation. Because, y’know, a Jedi can’t just be slinging a lightsaber around willy-nilly without some mental discipline. Kit Fisto was all about peace, inner focus, and calming his mind.
I, on the other hand, was a ball of nerves and distractions. Let me take you inside my first meditation attempt.
- The Setup: I grabbed a cushion, turned off the lights, and tried to sit like a Zen master. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Try to quiet my mind.
- The Reality: My brain was like, “Oh, you want to focus? Too bad.” I started thinking about what to make for dinner. Then, oh wait—was that a text I missed? Did I water my plants? I bet I didn’t. It was a mess.
After 10 minutes of sitting cross-legged with my thoughts spiraling like an existential hamster wheel, I gave up. Kit Fisto’s calm? Yeah, no. He would’ve been disappointed. Me? I was basically just counting down the minutes until I could quit.
The Second Step: Lightsaber Practice (AKA “I Almost Died”)
So, once I got over my meditation fail, it was time to take on the lightsaber. Kit Fisto’s lightsaber skills are legendary. In my mind, I was just going to grab a stick, pretend it was a glowing saber, and voilà—I’d be a Jedi Master. But no. That’s not how it works.
The Training
I picked up my trusty training saber (which, yes, was a glow stick from a Halloween party). Kit Fisto could fight like a pro with that weapon, and I figured it’d be the same for me, right? I spent hours watching his fight scenes from Attack of the Clones and The Clone Wars, trying to mimic his style. But here’s where I went wrong.
- Forming the Stance: Kit Fisto’s stance was fluid and natural. Mine? Like a toddler trying to use chopsticks for the first time. My limbs felt like they had zero coordination.
- The Battle: I faced off against my roommate, who—shocker—was way more coordinated than me. His saber was way more precise. Mine was flailing in every direction.
I’m not saying I lost, but I will say my pride definitely took a hit when he knocked me over in, like, 2 minutes. I was down for the count.
Fast Forward: The Big Moment (AKA “I Got Wrecked”)
After weeks of training, the big day came. The day I would finally duel as Kit Fisto. I was feeling confident. I had meditated (well, sort of), I had practiced my saber skills (kind of), and I had studied his combat moves (definitely watched a YouTube video, so I was technically an expert, right?).
The Duel
I faced off against my friend Sam, who was not playing around. He had a real lightsaber. Okay, it was one of those plastic $20 toy sabers, but still. We squared off, lightsabers raised, and I thought, “This is it. This is my Kit Fisto moment.”
Fast forward two minutes: I’m on the floor. My lightsaber is across the room. Sam’s like, “You good?” and I’m trying to act like I wasn’t just totally wrecked.
- What Went Wrong: The problem wasn’t my lightsaber skills (well, it kinda was). The issue was my inability to stay calm. Kit Fisto never lost his cool—he was always in the moment. Me? I was panicking like a cat trying to escape a bath.
The Aftermath: What I Learned
Okay, so I didn’t become Kit Fisto. In fact, I was probably closer to becoming a Jedi failure than anything else. But, as the saying goes: “Failing is just learning with style.” Wait, is that a thing? Anyway, I learned a lot from this experience.
Key Takeaways
- Don’t Rush It: Kit Fisto didn’t become a Jedi Master by rushing through his training. It took years. I need more than a week to master peace (and maybe an extra few decades to master a lightsaber).
- Balance is Key: You need both physical training and mental focus. Kit Fisto had it all—mind and body working together. Me? I had… pizza and Netflix as my companions during meditation.
- The Force Takes Time: Maybe it’s a Jedi thing. Maybe it’s just me. But the Force isn’t something you can fake. You have to build that connection slowly, step by step.
Closing Thoughts (AKA “Fast Forward Past the Failures”)
In the end, becoming Kit Fisto was a total bust. But hey, I’m not throwing in the towel yet. If anything, I gained a ton of respect for what it takes to be a Jedi. It’s not just about waving around a cool lightsaber. It’s about patience, discipline, and—for sure—having the grace to not get totally knocked out by your friend in two minutes.
So, I guess the moral of the story is: If you ever want to channel Kit Fisto, you better be ready to spend a lifetime learning the ways of the Force. Me? I’ll be over here, attempting round two of my meditation practice. (Fingers crossed.)
